Wrestling in the Sea with the One
Series Paintings & Text by Gian Merlevede |
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Gian Merlevede Artborne Erdeb
About the Series
Back in 2007 I showed my exhibition Wrestling in the Sea with the One! All the paintings focused on the theme of man struggling with self, and wrestling with the sovereign Creator. To summarize the visual core metaphor in that exhibition: Caught between cliff and sea breakers.
In the same period I started working on another visual core metaphor to capture this same subject of existential-religious struggle: The theme of the "darkened" throne hall of God the Creator.
My paintings often reflect aspects of my journey of faith.
I belong to the earth, as much as I belong to the unseen, the heavenly.
For now, I live in the unyielding rift between those two worlds. That is what I contemplate.
The biblical informations increase my awareness of God's sovereign ways of redemption.
We humans often gain clarity only in the aftermath of inner struggles.
Wrestling in the Sea Series - Overview
The Child in Me, 2006 - Gian MerlevedeAcrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the year 2006 →Photo Details Fusion of Elements, 2007 - Gian MerlevedeAcrylics on canvas: 100x120 cm
Painted between 2005-2007 →Photo Details Re-emergence, 2007 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 100x100 cm
Painted in the year 2007 →Photo Details Purification, 2007 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 100x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2005-2007 →Photo Details Breakers in Sunlight, 2007 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the year 2007 →Photo Details Ocean´s Anvil, 2012 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2007-2012 →Photo Details Hidden Hurricane, 2013 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 100x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2007-2012 →Photo Details Steep Coast, 2014 - Gian Merlevede
Misread Baptism, 2015 - Gian Merlevede
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Sea Cave, 2006 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2002-2006 →Photo Details Just Before, 2007 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2006-2007 →Photo Details Cast Away, 2007 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 100x100 cm
Painted in the year 2007 →Photo Details Cutting Diamonds, 2007 - Gian MerlevedeAcrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2006-2007 →Photo Details Meadow above the Swirl, 2010 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 80x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2007-2010 →Photo Details Survivor´s Breath, 2012 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 100x100 cm
Painted in the period of 2007-2012 →Photo Details Stairclimb, 2014 - Gian Merlevede
Acrylics on canvas: 60x80 cm
Painted in December 2014 →Photo Details To the Core, 2015 - Gian Merlevede
Nest on the Cliff Ledge, 2015 - Gian Merlevede
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Wrestling in the Sea with the One! Series
Takeaway value
Back in 2004, I suffered a severe religious burn out. My soul left „church“ almost broke. I had the feeling that God was just too invisible and too silent to bear. Even so, I could never question His existence, let alone His presence above the universe. Therefore, I felt utterly trapped.
Like if I had fallen into a roaring sea that continually sucked me under. Smashing me endlessly against iron cliffs. Pinned down and helpless, I remembered my nothingness: dust and ashes. Fairly similar, I felt some of the „reckless“ might and sovereign authority of God-our-Father („Swallowing Ocean“), as I also sensed His „stern“ will and resolve of character („Cliffs“).
My projected ideas about the Person of God were faltering. Clearly, He was not going to be manipulated by them, ever. Shockingly I woke up to His dangerous side (the severity of God really balances His Kindness, as He can be both!). I was wrestling in the sea. Likewise, I was groping blindly before His very throne seat. And all of this happening in like total silence or consuming darkness. Like an inexplicable test requiring you to fail.
At some point I stepped into the void, deciding to return the silence. Too far gone to fear damnation. This act of defiance helped me regain a sense of self. For years I had been crying out in vain for some heavenly response. Then at last, I stopped hoping, and quietness set in.
„Lovely, isn't it? This intimacy between us now.“ That external (!) line of thought hit the nail right on. Oh paradox! Though holding back my prayers, exercizing cold silence, I had in fact been unable to shut Him out. Just too familiar and at ease in His presence. Astonished, I noticed too, that the Living One apparently wasn't even offended by my harsh acting out. He even dropped that sentence in my mind with a slight undertone of guarded respect, imagine!
These testing grounds are here to stay. Anchoring me with divine substances of yearning trust all the more. God is in charge with excellent timing. My surrender comes less frantic now. I've come to understand that divine pressurizing of the soul resembles the process of cutting diamonds.
Copyright Artborne Erdeborn / Merlevede