About the Painting Ocean´s Anvil
It is a picture full of raw dynamics. Venture point was a feeling of utter crisis and almost superhuman struggle. To me the painting speaks about core transformation, about rage and longing. I wanted to approach the existential feeling of being caught in utter distress. There seems to be no way out of the juxtaposing forces of massive cliffs and the ocean with it´s continual ravings.
Back in 2007 I showed the exhibition Wrestling in the Sea (with the One). All the paintings focused on the theme of man struggling with self, and wrestling with the sovereign Creator. The central visual metaphor: Caught between cliff and sea breakers. → Slideshow: Selection from that first exhibition
This painting comes from the subsequent series of paintings called Wrestling in the Sea II
Back in 2007 I showed the exhibition Wrestling in the Sea (with the One). All the paintings focused on the theme of man struggling with self, and wrestling with the sovereign Creator. The central visual metaphor: Caught between cliff and sea breakers. → Slideshow: Selection from that first exhibition
This painting comes from the subsequent series of paintings called Wrestling in the Sea II
Second Series Wrestling in the Sea (with the One) - Overview
Additional information
My paintings often reflect aspects of my journey of faith.
I belong to the earth, as much as I belong to the unseen, the heavenly.
For now, I live in the unyielding rift between those two worlds. That is what I contemplate.
The biblical informations increase my awareness of God´s sovereign ways of redemption.
It is often only in the aftermath of inner struggles, that we humans gain clarity.
Wrestling in the Sea Series
Biographical background
Back in 2004, I suffered a severe, religious burn out. My soul left „church“ almost broke. I had the feeling that God was just too invisible and too silent to bear. Even so, I could never question His existence, let alone His presence in the universe. Therefore, I felt utterly trapped.
Like if I had fallen into a roaring sea that continually sucked me under. Smashing me endlessly against iron cliffs. Pinned down and helpless, I remembered my nothingness; dust and ashes. Fairly similar, I felt some of the „reckless“ might and sovereignity of God-our-Father („swallowing ocean“), as I also sensed His „stern“ will and resolve of character („cliffs“).
My projected ideas about God were faltering. Clearly, He was not going to be manipulated by them, ever. Shockingly I woke up to His dangerous side. I was wrestling in the sea. Likewise, I was groping blindly before His throne seat. And all of this happening in a total silence, a consuming darkness. Like an inexpliquable test requiring you to fail.
At some point I stepped into the void, deciding to return the silence. Too far gone to fear damnation. This act of defiance helped me regain a sense of self. For years I had been crying out in vain for some heavenly response. Then at last, I stopped hoping, and quietness set in.
„Lovely, isn´t it! This intimacy between us now?“ That hit the nail right on. Oh paradox! Though holding my silence, I had in fact been unable to shut Him out. Just too familiar and at ease in His presence. Astonished, I noticed too, that the Father apparently wasn´t even offended by my harsh acting out. He even dropped that sentence in my mind with a slight undertone of guarded respect, imagine!
These testing grounds are here to stay. Anchoring me with divine substances of yearning trust all the more. God is in charge with excellent timing. My surrender comes less frantic now. I´ve come to understand, that divine pressurizing of the soul resembles the process of cutting diamonds.
My paintings often reflect aspects of my journey of faith.
I belong to the earth, as much as I belong to the unseen, the heavenly.
For now, I live in the unyielding rift between those two worlds. That is what I contemplate.
The biblical informations increase my awareness of God´s sovereign ways of redemption.
It is often only in the aftermath of inner struggles, that we humans gain clarity.
Wrestling in the Sea Series
Biographical background
Back in 2004, I suffered a severe, religious burn out. My soul left „church“ almost broke. I had the feeling that God was just too invisible and too silent to bear. Even so, I could never question His existence, let alone His presence in the universe. Therefore, I felt utterly trapped.
Like if I had fallen into a roaring sea that continually sucked me under. Smashing me endlessly against iron cliffs. Pinned down and helpless, I remembered my nothingness; dust and ashes. Fairly similar, I felt some of the „reckless“ might and sovereignity of God-our-Father („swallowing ocean“), as I also sensed His „stern“ will and resolve of character („cliffs“).
My projected ideas about God were faltering. Clearly, He was not going to be manipulated by them, ever. Shockingly I woke up to His dangerous side. I was wrestling in the sea. Likewise, I was groping blindly before His throne seat. And all of this happening in a total silence, a consuming darkness. Like an inexpliquable test requiring you to fail.
At some point I stepped into the void, deciding to return the silence. Too far gone to fear damnation. This act of defiance helped me regain a sense of self. For years I had been crying out in vain for some heavenly response. Then at last, I stopped hoping, and quietness set in.
„Lovely, isn´t it! This intimacy between us now?“ That hit the nail right on. Oh paradox! Though holding my silence, I had in fact been unable to shut Him out. Just too familiar and at ease in His presence. Astonished, I noticed too, that the Father apparently wasn´t even offended by my harsh acting out. He even dropped that sentence in my mind with a slight undertone of guarded respect, imagine!
These testing grounds are here to stay. Anchoring me with divine substances of yearning trust all the more. God is in charge with excellent timing. My surrender comes less frantic now. I´ve come to understand, that divine pressurizing of the soul resembles the process of cutting diamonds.
Copyright Gian Merlevede - Artborne Erdeborn